You Are Worth It

The past few days have been a blur.

Some friends and I put together a spontaneous closet sale, which turned out to be a HUGE success! The amount of old relationships I got to rekindle and new ones I got to make amazed me, and all the socializing felt like my own personalized version of heaven!

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{love some of my very best friends in one picture!}

Combining my passions for shopping, fashion, girls/women and planning gave me SO much life, and as I’ve replayed how the event went (and mentally began to plan the next one) I’ve felt my heart stirring to blog on a topic that is so real in my life- and maybe yours too.

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You are worth it.

I’ve shared my journey with self image before, with perfectionism, eating, and my perception of beauty. One thing I really prayed in planning for the closet sale is that it would be a fun, social event that girls would enjoy, and that looking in the mirror and trying on clothing would bring life not lies.

Trust me, I know what the mirror can do. You know why it was so easy to sell my clothing? All I had to do was grab piles from our bedroom floor, leftover from weekday mornings when I practically threw tantrums over how I looked.

Well I guess I didn’t like these, or I would have worn them, so might as well sell them.

How many of us have been in this position? Something is SO cute on the rack, in the catologue, and even when you lay out an outfit Thursday night. But when Friday morning comes and you slip into that adorable dress, you realize that it clings a little tighter than you want, that the color looks better with your bedroom chair than your skin tone, or that you simply do not like what you see. You end up in so many attempts at “the perfect outfit,” that soon your hair is messed up, your deoderant has landed on a hem somewhere back at outfits #4 or 5, and your confidence is crushed. As unfortunate as it may be, your mood has been defined.

You would be hard pressed to find a woman who has not experienced this very thing at some point in her existence. And for those who haven’t, I applaud you. You are not missing out.

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I’ve often rambled to my husband the thoughts I have about a certain fashion phenomenon. That something can look SO cute in a store, or even on some other girl, but then you bring it home and it suddenly becomes this sad piece of fabric, collecting dust in your closet. I’ve (more recently) come to the conclusion that I’m blaming the wrong thing.

This may not be the clothing’s fault. Or even the company who created it.

How often do I choose to make a purchase on a “good day,” and then 24-hours later hate what I see in the mirror? How often am I just unhappy with me, with my number size or my heighth or the tone of my skin, with my peeling sunburn or the “extra weight” I percieve? How often do I throw fits in the morning, not because of the clothing, but because of my lacking confidence?

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As I think of the women I admire most in life, I realize something- They each know their value and they each recognize their worth.

I am not just attracted to the clothing they wear or the style of their hair or the way they always look just right. I am attracted to the deep seeded confidence I just feel when I’m around them. A confidence that creates comfortability, a knowledge of who they are in the Lords eyes, that they have so much to offer, and that they can invest in other people, in me. To look outward instead of inward, and value so much more than the material.

I am no pro at getting rid of this warped sense of beauty that is so easy to grab hold of. In fact, all I can tell you is that even in marriage, when you have been chosen and you know your husband loves you, it is a struggle. But I am a firm believer that being aware of the root of a problem helps majorly in then taking hold and uprooting, and I know that fighting your own thoughts does make a difference!

 I often think about someday, when we could have a little girl, and it brings tears to my eyes.

If  there is one thing I want her [and YOU]  to know, it is this.

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xoxo Katie

letter to my someday daughter [and any girl in the world].

Disclaimer- This post is not to say my own mother didn’t tell me these things, but simiply that I chose to learn the hard way. These are some of my personal opinions, thoughts and lessons learned in my short 21-year-old life span. Some pertain to my battle with anorexia, some to my education, some just micellaneous life stuff. I have always dreamed of being able to share my store and impact someone, someday the way so many women in my life have impacted me.

So here they are…things I wish I never did, things I did and learned from, stuff that’s on my heart.

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1. The kissy face is NOT timeless, you will regret it. (and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re either lying or should google “myspace kissy face”)

2. Just because two pretty people are in a relationship, does not mean they have pretty hearts. (outward appearances only hold up so long)

3. Stocking up on dirt-cheap Target clearance items that you “kind of like” is not being a good steward of your money- Save up for those leather boots you really want.

4. Belly button rings? Not really timeless either…and they leave a gaping hole above the already gaping hole in your stomach.

5. To guys, stick-thin-coat hanger-thin bodies are NOT all the rage.

6. If you starve yourself, your metabolism slows down. Any food your body can get ahold of is stored…as fat. So eat normally, proportionately, moerately, but normally. (and normal can include some ice cream every now and then!)

7. Along those lines…No matter how thin you are, you will think you should be thinner. Same goes for every area of your life. Being hard on yourself is a waste of time, drop the expectations. Choose to embrace your life.

8. Dating in high school is rough at best. I know I may seem hypocritical considering I did the cliche and married my high school sweetheart…but hey, we had to break up for two years before any of that happened.

9. Freshman year of college- NOT created soleley for skipping classes, slacking on assigments and then assuming you will pass. I almost didn’t.

10. The more you look in the mirror, the worse you will start to look.

11. Just because you survived freshman year of high school doesn’t mean you know everything- Mom still knows better.

12. Hiding the receipts does not mean you didn’t spend the money.

13. If you plan on going to college, do not feel the need to have a five year plan by 11th grade. I went from fashion design to interior design to business at Shippensburg (haha) to elementary education to undeclared to public relations to NOW. (I will not disclose which of those were actual majors vs. just dreams. It’s too embarrassing). There is hope, I am somehow graduating early, you are NORMAL. -or you have found someone else who is abnormal.

14. Playing the dumb girl who doesn’t enjoy reading or writing and never knows answers-doesn’t pay off. Brent recently told me that if he had known that I actually enjoyed my times reading classics like The Great Gatsby and The Scarlet Letter, he may have liked me MORE in high school! (Not that it matters now 🙂 )

15. You cannot  love others until you love yourself, and you cannot love yourself until you embrace God’s love. {I’m crying as I write this.}

16. Your first heart break seems the worst-I can feel the pain for you. Break-ups are terrible, awful and I wouldn’t wish one on anyone (another case against high school dating) but I PROMISE you God’s got a plan beyond your own. Hang on to Him.

17. Back on the timeless theme- shirts that reveal cleavage, not cool, and not bringing any attention you want from any guy worth getting.

18. Guard your heart. This includes Snapchat, Facetime and texting. (In my day-not that long ago- it was IM, Myspace, Xanga).

19. I’ve had enough self-tanner faux pas to know, it doesn’t work. none of it.

20. There is always someone worse off than you. When you’re upset because you shrunk your favorite shirt, humiliated yourself in front of your friends or got grounded for something you think you didn’t do, consider others ahead of yourself. Create a gift, write a note, do SOMETHING for SOMEONE that is NOT YOU. I am always amazed at my perspective change.

21. Popularity is overrated.

22. Don’t limit yourself, start a dream journal and just let your ideas flow. Creativity is contagious, pass it on

23. Eat oatmeal when you have cramps. It helps, I promise (and chocolate actually makes you feel worse because your sugars spike and then crash. Crashing sugars=a pathetic, crying, grumpy Katie).

24. Above all else, realize you ARE not alone. There IS someone like you, someone who went through all the joys and crap of middle school, high school and beyond.

You WILL survive!

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Love, Katie

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