letter to my someday daughter [and any girl in the world].

Disclaimer- This post is not to say my own mother didn’t tell me these things, but simiply that I chose to learn the hard way. These are some of my personal opinions, thoughts and lessons learned in my short 21-year-old life span. Some pertain to my battle with anorexia, some to my education, some just micellaneous life stuff. I have always dreamed of being able to share my store and impact someone, someday the way so many women in my life have impacted me.

So here they are…things I wish I never did, things I did and learned from, stuff that’s on my heart.

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1. The kissy face is NOT timeless, you will regret it. (and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re either lying or should google “myspace kissy face”)

2. Just because two pretty people are in a relationship, does not mean they have pretty hearts. (outward appearances only hold up so long)

3. Stocking up on dirt-cheap Target clearance items that you “kind of like” is not being a good steward of your money- Save up for those leather boots you really want.

4. Belly button rings? Not really timeless either…and they leave a gaping hole above the already gaping hole in your stomach.

5. To guys, stick-thin-coat hanger-thin bodies are NOT all the rage.

6. If you starve yourself, your metabolism slows down. Any food your body can get ahold of is stored…as fat. So eat normally, proportionately, moerately, but normally. (and normal can include some ice cream every now and then!)

7. Along those lines…No matter how thin you are, you will think you should be thinner. Same goes for every area of your life. Being hard on yourself is a waste of time, drop the expectations. Choose to embrace your life.

8. Dating in high school is rough at best. I know I may seem hypocritical considering I did the cliche and married my high school sweetheart…but hey, we had to break up for two years before any of that happened.

9. Freshman year of college- NOT created soleley for skipping classes, slacking on assigments and then assuming you will pass. I almost didn’t.

10. The more you look in the mirror, the worse you will start to look.

11. Just because you survived freshman year of high school doesn’t mean you know everything- Mom still knows better.

12. Hiding the receipts does not mean you didn’t spend the money.

13. If you plan on going to college, do not feel the need to have a five year plan by 11th grade. I went from fashion design to interior design to business at Shippensburg (haha) to elementary education to undeclared to public relations to NOW. (I will not disclose which of those were actual majors vs. just dreams. It’s too embarrassing). There is hope, I am somehow graduating early, you are NORMAL. -or you have found someone else who is abnormal.

14. Playing the dumb girl who doesn’t enjoy reading or writing and never knows answers-doesn’t pay off. Brent recently told me that if he had known that I actually enjoyed my times reading classics like The Great Gatsby and The Scarlet Letter, he may have liked me MORE in high school! (Not that it matters now 🙂 )

15. You cannot  love others until you love yourself, and you cannot love yourself until you embrace God’s love. {I’m crying as I write this.}

16. Your first heart break seems the worst-I can feel the pain for you. Break-ups are terrible, awful and I wouldn’t wish one on anyone (another case against high school dating) but I PROMISE you God’s got a plan beyond your own. Hang on to Him.

17. Back on the timeless theme- shirts that reveal cleavage, not cool, and not bringing any attention you want from any guy worth getting.

18. Guard your heart. This includes Snapchat, Facetime and texting. (In my day-not that long ago- it was IM, Myspace, Xanga).

19. I’ve had enough self-tanner faux pas to know, it doesn’t work. none of it.

20. There is always someone worse off than you. When you’re upset because you shrunk your favorite shirt, humiliated yourself in front of your friends or got grounded for something you think you didn’t do, consider others ahead of yourself. Create a gift, write a note, do SOMETHING for SOMEONE that is NOT YOU. I am always amazed at my perspective change.

21. Popularity is overrated.

22. Don’t limit yourself, start a dream journal and just let your ideas flow. Creativity is contagious, pass it on

23. Eat oatmeal when you have cramps. It helps, I promise (and chocolate actually makes you feel worse because your sugars spike and then crash. Crashing sugars=a pathetic, crying, grumpy Katie).

24. Above all else, realize you ARE not alone. There IS someone like you, someone who went through all the joys and crap of middle school, high school and beyond.

You WILL survive!

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Love, Katie

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Diary of a Married College Girl

When Brent and I first discussed wedding timing, there was one (seemingly) determining factor.

I was still in college.

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We got engaged in Februrary, knowing that I had one more semester until graduation. After considering the idea of a winter wedding I (being me) did not feel satisfied.

See, both of our birthdays are in December- a week a part- the 2nd and the 9th to be exact. Then comes Christmas.

I wanted to spread out my gift-getting. There was no way my anniversary was getting thrown in that mess.

[just kidding, kind of.]

So we decided to go for it, to have our wedding in August. I’d always much preferred summer weddings anyway.

All this meant one major thing- I had to figure out a schedule that would best fit my newly married lifestyle, AND figure out how to take five classes while trying to work.

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The Lord never ceases to amaze me. Somehow [ with the help of my personal registrar’s office aka. my mom] I crammed two of the classes into my summer [hence the procrastination of wedding planning until about one month prior], translated my job at Chick-fil-A into a paid internship [6 credits worth], and found a night class that I liked in walking distance from our little home.

I had life figured out.

But let me tell you something, it is not the breeze I thought it would be.

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Beyond the fact that I have to drop my best-wife-ever status on Thursdays and purchase [for the first time ever] boxed mac n cheese and Ramen noodles for my husband’s dinners…besides the fact that I rush out the door as he’s getting home from work and don’t get back until he’s either exhausted or watching the game…my MOST major struggle as a married college girl?

identity crisis

Who am I? I ask myself this at least once a week. [by week I might mean day]. I struggle with the pressure balance, of wanting to be home, of wanting to do well in school, of wanting to work more than I am, of remembering i’m a student, of the desire to live up to my degree.

This week was one of those struggle weeks, and as I struggled, I also reminisced.

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October 2010– Brent and I just broke up. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know who I am, and I ESPECIALLY don’t know why I’m here. I hate school, I don’t think I will ever graduate. I’m barely passing science, and I’m never ever there. I can’t stop crying and I feel so anxious- four more years is a lifetime. I’m never going to make it that far. At this rate I’ll be graduating in six years…and I have NO motivation to pick up the pace. Who cares about school. All I wanted was to get married and have a family-and my dream life just broke up with me. 

I hate this.

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Three years ago I was a freshman at Millersville University. My high school love had just broken my heard, I hated education and thought going to class was for lame people, I wasn’t taking a full load of classes, therefore behind in graduating, and my parents actually reccommended I go to HACC-or put school on hold until I got my act together.

I couldn’t tell you when or what hit me. But somewhere in my journey I found my niche. I buckled down and took classes all year round. I worked ahead for no reason but my own self-drive, [and, little did I know, the Lord’s perfect plan].

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When I feel like I can’t make it through one more class, when I wonder what I’m doing with my life, what I will do with my life, I considere the contrast- October 2010 to October 2013. Same boy, same girl, same college, completely different story.

Sometimes I wonder why I ever doubt the Lord’s hand [working in my life].

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***On a side note***

My stomach turns at the thought of all that dye in boxed mac n cheese. I was not cut out for this quick dinner stuff! SO, I found this awesome, quick and easy recipe-

Brent’s eating well tonight 🙂

Baked Mac & Cheese  

MacCheese-Dinner_opt

Ingredients

  • 8oz. Elbow Macaroni
  • 4 tablespoons Butter
  • 3 tablespoons Flour
  • 2 cups Milk
  • 1/2 teaspoon Salt
  • Dash of Pepper
  • 2 cups Cheese, shredded (I used Sharp, but any cheese that you like is fine)

Instructions

Prepare macaroni according to directions on box.

While the macaroni is cooking, prepare the cheese sauce.
  1. In a large saucepan, melt butter, add flour mixed with salt and pepper.
  2. Whisk until well combined, gradually add milk, whisking continually.
  3. Bring to boil and cook for 2 minutes, stirring constantly, reduce heat and cook about 10 minutes, until mixture is thick.
  4. Gradually add cheese and simmer until cheese sauce is smooth and thick, about 5 minutes.
  5. Fold in cooked macaroni.
  6. Place mixture in a 13 x 9 pan, and bake at 400 degrees for about 15 – 20 minutes until golden and bubbly.