and if not, He is good.

 come out of hiding, you’re safe here with Me. there’s no need to cover what I already see.

you’ve got your reasons, but I hold your peace.

you’ve been on lockdown, and I hold the key.

cause I loved you before you knew it was love

and I saw it all, still I chose the cross

and you were the one that I was thinking of

when I rose from the grave.

now rid of the shackles, my victory’s yours.

I tore the veil, for you to come close.

There’s no need to stand at a distance anymore

you’re not far from home.

I’ll be your lighthouse

when you’re lost at sea

and I will illuminate

everything.

no need to be frightened 

by intimacy.

no, just throw off your fear

and come running to me.

~~~~~~~~

Three weeks ago I wrote this phrase, in curvy bold script across the crisp pages of my new journal-

and if not, He is still good.

It seemed so poetic, truly words to remember in the midst of crisis. I felt this unexplained need to set them aside, tuck them away for someday when I could share them with someone, or reread them and remind myself.

He is Good. He is Good. He is always Good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One week later I lay curled in a ball amidst down comforter and mounds of pillows, holding the same journal with shaking hands, rereading the page over and over.

he is…

he is…

through blurred eyes and a hurting heart the rest of the phrase lingered on my tongue. I just couldn’t muster up the strength to say it, and mean it.

We lost our first baby.

How is He good?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

cause I loved you before you knew it was love

and I saw it all, still I chose the cross

and you were the one that I was thinking of

when I rose from the grave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Through hurt and pain, and a journey so unfamiliar, the Lord is revealing himself to Brent & I in ways I cannot find the words to describe.

I cannot lie to you and say that my heart is completely healed of all hurt, but do I dare say that I have truly believed and felt the phrase that the Lord inscribed on my heart for this very moment..

and if not, He IS still good.

In the midst of the whirlwind that is these past weeks, I came across this in another blog

-I must see the trail of grace behind me before I strain to see the horizon of hope that lies before me.-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The here and now does not feel good, when I trace the Lord’s hand in our lives. When I experience his love revealed through the relationships in our lives. When I cling to His promises at the most raw state.

it is then and it is now that I believe

He is still good.

 

 

 

photo 4

 

Out of Hiding (Father’s Song) by Steffany Gretzinger 

2 thoughts on “and if not, He is good.

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