I’m a moments person. I love moments. I love creating moments, capturing moments, I think (sometimes obsessively) in terms of sweet and sentimental moments.
There is this moment ingrained in my mind, and it wasn’t even necessarily “my moment.”
But i’m convinced the Lord meant it to be.
I have this picture in my mind from Sunday church, a mother worshipping so sweetly, totally engulfed in her Father’s love and in oblivion to the world around her. Her children were wrapped around her legs clinging to her in what I thought (from an outsider, non-mother perspective) was totally precious but potentially an exausting leg work out… (not a bad thing 🙂 The little boy instantly caught my eye, he was so concentrated, so focused on his mothers every move. With every sway and every hand raise he attempted the same, but each movement came with a slight delay as his eyes squinted and he intently processed her praise. He was following after his mother as completely as he could, reflecting her heart of worship in his own way.
Moments like these are the ones you cherish- as you experience them or watch from afar. They are the ones that give you that face that makes people wonder what in the world you could be thinking, why you suddenly look like you’re holding a baby puppy or experiencing something you love for the first time. But if this wasn’t “my moment,” what made it so special for me?
I saw myself. I’m that intent little boy, squinting my eyes, trying my hardest to copy the good that I see, the things my Father offers that I know are attractive to me, I just can’t quite grasp why.
But here’s the thing.
This boys reflection of his mother was so simplistic. There was no striving, there was no frustration when he missed a step, or even when he tripped and fell. He was reflecting his mother as best he knew how, never quite reaching her coordination or fully understanding what she was doing, but taking each step of faith and continuing on.
So why do I strive? Why do I stress? Why do I mess up [trip and fall] and then respond with frustration, disappointment. My Father is one who totally wouldnt care, who finds pleasure in the reflection, who would love to have me praise with Him instead of strive for Him. My Father is standing there and saying,
“Katie, my grace is sufficient for you,
it’s all you need.
My strength and power are made perfect,
fulfilled in your weakness.”
[2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV, MSG, AMP]
In my new found love and recent exploration of Pandora, I discovered a song that speaks to my heart so strongly, it speaks for my heart so strongly.
Sun and Moon- Phil Wickham
If you are the sun
then I wanna be the moon
I wanna reflect the light that shines from you
I want everything you are.